When You Aren’t Ready For EMDR Therapy.

I wasn’t ready for EMDR Therapy and I’m an EMDR Therapist.

Me, My Brother, and Shep

Spring of 2021 smacked me across the face, in fact, it punched me in the face 3 separate times within a 2 month period. What happened? Without going too much into detail I had experienced 3 different traumas that all were somewhat connected to earlier childhood trauma- the death of my childhood dog when I was 12. It may seem trivial to some, but Shep’s death was extremely hard for me. It was actually more so everything that led up to his death. Since then, anything related to animals invokes an intense emotional response from me. And, for the most part, I was pretty much able to avoid this. Well, up until last spring when I was a part of 3 different experiences where animals passed away in unforeseen ways. 

I thought I could just work through it but I really couldn’t. I was having intense dreams, intrusive thoughts, periods where I would just start crying, and an increase in overall anxiety. As you can imagine, this wasn’t a really fun period of time in my life. I had just finished my own EMDR training and decided to find an EMDR therapist to help me.

EMDR Therapy is Very Beneficial, but Not When You’re Not Ready for it…

I wish I could say my experience with EMDR went smoothly and I was quickly able to heal from my trauma but that's not how it turned out. Even though I’m trained in EMDR, I still had a really difficult time with the process. 

So what was the end result then? Although I wasn’t able to complete the full EMDR protocol, I still was able to benefit from EMDR. I was able to “desensitize” the recent traumas that were making life really unmanageable as well as gain ways to manage distress. However, I wasn’t able to heal the core trauma surrounding the death of my childhood dog and it made me angry that I wasn’t able to heal from it. Hell, I’m still mad about it.  

I’m currently taking a break from EMDR therapy because I felt it was, and is, what’s best for me at the moment. I think I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to be “successful” at EMDR which ended up feeling counterproductive. 

So why am I telling you this?

Because a lot of the time I feel like I have to have my mental health in check because I’m an EMDR therapist in Pennsylvania and sometimes my mental health is really not in check. I also felt that because I’m an EMDR therapist,  I should have been able to have this transformational and enlightening experience with EMDR. But I didn’t.

EMDR therapy in Pennsylvania can be transformational, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to be transformational for everyone all the time. People will come to me wanting to work on past trauma through the help of EMDR, but not everyone is fully ready or would even make a good candidate for EMDR.

What is EMDR Therapy in Pennsylvania? 

There has been an increase in people seeking out EMDR therapy in order to work through trauma. This makes sense because EMDR is one of the top interventions to treat PTSD. It’s significantly more efficient than more traditional therapies such as psychoanalysis and CBT. So what the hell is it?

• The framework that EMDR takes regarding trauma is that our brains are incredibly adaptive to situations. Trauma occurs when our brain isn’t able to appropriately adapt to an event or experience.

• Through EMDR therapy we go back and help the brain have the adaptive experience it never got the chance to have when the trauma happened. 

• It helps people heal from the emotions, symptoms, and beliefs caused by distressing events

• You are also able to use other forms of bilateral stimulation (tapping back and forth, listening to BLS music) if eye movements don’t work. 

• It uses rapid eye movements to help desensitize memories that carry emotional charges.

Is EMDR Therapy in Pennsylvania only for people with PTSD?

Nope! A lot of us have traumatic experiences we don’t really even realize are traumatic. It’s not so much about the content of the trauma but more so how you digest the trauma. I’ll use my experience for example. A lot of people go through pet loss, it can be really hard and sad, but they’re able to healthily grieve and move forward. If we are going to use the EMDR perspective to look at my experience with Shep dying, it would say that my brain wasn’t able to fully adapt. My brain, in essence, became stuck. Now I definitely wouldn’t meet the criteria for PTSD but does that mean this experience no longer impacts me? Nope…it continues to come up and rear its ugly head in my life. 

How to know if EMDR Therapy isn’t a great fit for you right now. 

You are frequently living in hyper or hypo-arousal. 

1. If you are living in a state of high anxiety and distress it can make it really hard to successfully engage in EMDR. Healing trauma is done more effectively when you are within your window of tolerance (the space where you are able to healthily deal with stressors without feeling out of control).

2. When we are in hypo-arousal we are dissociating. Dissociating is when we feel disconnected from ourselves and our surroundings. The same goes with dissociation; you can’t fully heal trauma if you’re disconnected from life. 

You’re in a period of transition

1. Stability is important when we are working through trauma. Any big life transitions can cause instability. Even if your life transition is positive, like going back to school or moving to a new place, it still can bring instability.

You have limited or unhealthy coping skills

1. Working through trauma is going to elicit uncomfortable emotions and distress. It’s necessary to have a variety of coping skills that you can rely on to help you manage the distress that comes with healing trauma.

2. Unhealthy coping skills (self-harm, addiction, gambling, impulsive spending, etc.)  will likely worsen if you were to do EMDR. We definitely wouldn’t want that to happen!

Perhaps, you don’t feel fully comfortable with your therapist

1. This has less to do with you and more about the dynamic between you and your therapist. For EMDR to successfully work, there has to be trust between you and your trauma and EMDR therapist. Most of the time when we undergo trauma it creates intense feelings that make us feel not safe. In order to heal from trauma, we need to feel safe with the person guiding us through our own trauma. 

You want a quick fix

1. EMDR is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes when we are just sick and tired of dealing with our trauma, we are wanting immediate relief and therefore are willing to sign up and do whatever it takes to stop feeling distressed. This is not a bad thing by the way! It can get in the way though if EMDR is taking longer than initially expected. 

Maybe, you aren’t fully committed

1. Most of us are fully committed to no longer feeling distressed and anxious. However, the process of feeling relief can be distressing and uncomfortable in itself, and sometimes we aren’t ready for it! A lot of the time the real work is actually a lot harder than we are able to comprehend. 

You are struggling with other mental health disorders that aren’t managed.

1. This falls in line with the importance of stability. On top of specializing in trauma, I also specialize in eating disorders. When someone is in the depths of their eating disorder there are multiple things (like being malnourished) that would prevent them from being a good candidate for EMDR. 

Benefiting from EMDR Therapy in Pennsylvania is still possible without fully engaging in the EMDR protocol.

EMDR therapy is one of the only types of therapy that follows a strict 8-phase protocol. You can learn more about what each phase entails by checking out the EMDR page on my website. However, we are able to take bits and pieces from EMDR to help alleviate certain symptoms and make day-to-day life easier. One of the biggest things I use from EMDR and can apply to any client is something called resourcing. People sometimes believe resourcing is synonymous with coping skills which aren’t 100% true. Resourcing differs because we are identifying what resources, attributes, or qualities we need to better handle stressors. So for instance, many people would benefit from having a stronger sense of safety, peace, and comfort when they are dealing with anxiety. Through resourcing, you would be able to bring out more of those attributes to manage your anxiety better. 

One other tool that can be taken from EMDR (without doing the whole protocol) is desensitization

It can be great for lowering the level of distress surrounding emotionally charged experiences. When we go through something difficult it may cause extreme emotional distress which can impact every aspect of our life. You may experience mood swings, intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, nightmares….you get the picture. Desensitization is a fantastic way to take away as much of that emotional distress as possible. Remember, desensitization isn’t a replacement for the entire EMDR protocol, it is just a part of it. 

If you’re not ready for EMDR you can still heal.

It isn’t uncommon for me to see people who expect EMDR to be the “thing” that “fixes” them. It’s like EMDR is the holy grail. Don’t get me wrong, EMDR can be transformational for people, but it is just an intervention and doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from other interventions. Sometimes we can experience blocks that prevent us from processing and healing. These blocks look like that little voice that says you’re a failure or you won’t ever feel worthy, so why are you even trying. Internal Family Systems or IFS is a creative way to help you work through these blocks so you are able to effectively participate in EMDR therapy.

My takeaway from EMDR Therapy in Pennsylvania as a client.

EMDR definitely didn’t go the way I planned but it still helped me heal. I didn’t heal completely; only parts of me did.

Here is what I gained from EMDR:

Me and my current dog, Atticus

1. A different understanding of what my trauma actually was. It was never about shep, it was about feeling powerless around the events leading up to his death.

2. An understanding that there is still a part of me that is fearful of actually healing from this trauma.

3. Resourcing! I found that resourcing was transformational for me.

4. Desensitization regarding a traumatic event I witnessed last spring. I was having flashbacks and intrusive thoughts. Through desensitization, those things rarely happen anymore.

5. A reminder that even though I’m an EMDR and trauma therapist, I’m human. I’m not supposed to have my shit together all the time.

Try Online EMDR Therapy in Pennsylvania Today!

Trauma is something we all deal with from time to time. In the past talk therapy was the answer. Now we have effective evidence-based approaches such as eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy to understand its impact. Whether you’re dealing with trauma that has been impacting you over a lifetime, or from a big life event, an EMDR therapist can help. I am here to hold space for your experiences with no judgment. When you begin working in therapy with Revive Therapy in Pennsylvania, you will work with Hannah Guy, your online trauma therapist. When you’re ready to get started, follow these simple steps:

1. Contact Revive Therapy Services!

2. Meet your EMDR therapist, Hannah Guy

3. Become unstuck and begin moving forward!

Other Services at Revive Therapy

Don’t be held back by shame, guilt, and trauma. It’s time to get the peace and healing you have been seeking. You deserve a space to talk through life events that may be holding you back. Whether this is your first time in therapy or you’ve been here before, I am here to help you meet your goals. If you’re looking for more support at Revive Therapy in Pennsylvania, I offer other services. This includes Eating disorder treatment, PTSD treatment, and trauma therapy, treatment for binge eating disorder, EMDR therapy, and body image issues. Additionally, all services are offered via online therapy in Pennsylvania. When you’re ready for support. Call now!